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Welcome to PPIA. Positive Psychology in Action
30 things I wish I had know 10 years ago
Here are 30 things I wish my 20-year-old self had known:
- No one’s coming to create the life you want for you. If you want something, you have to take responsibility for making it happen. No one will do it for you.
- Setting boundaries won’t make you selfish. In fact, it’ll make you a kinder, more generous, and more compassionate person for the people around you.
- People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think. (It’s called the spotlight effect, and it’s real.) Everyone’s too caught up in their own world to be analyzing yours.
- The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. It shapes everything else in your life.
- Confidence comes from doing things before you feel ready. Not from waiting until you feel confident enough to start.
- That exchange semester in Australia you’re unsure about? DO IT. It will change your life.
- You can’t control how others see you. You could be the kindest, most generous person, and someone out there will still think you’re not enough. So don’t live to be seen a certain way—live in a way that reflects who you want to be.
- You don’t have to “fix” uncomfortable feelings—just allow them to be there. Numbing the tough emotions also numbs the joyful ones.
- Sleep more. No, you don’t “just need 5 or 6 hours.” Trust me, you’ll thank me later.
- Put down the armor of performing, perfecting, and pleasing. Vulnerability is what will allow you to build these deep, fulfilling relationships you’re craving.
- Living with integrity is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Figure out your values, and actually live by them.
- Do more things you’re bad at. Staying inside your comfort zone only feeds perfectionism and the fear of failure.
- I know this sounds crazy, but give yourself two more years, and you’ll love reading books and listening to podcasts. Might as well start now. (Spoiler: Brené Brown is exactly what you need right now.)
- You don’t need more information—you need more courage. You already know enough. Just do it.
- The most important thing for your happiness are the relationships you have with the people around you. Don’t lose touch with your best friends just because you feel “too busy.” It’s about making time, not having time.
- Stop being so stingy with yourself. Spend money on experiences that create memories. In 10 years, those extra euros won’t matter—but the experiences will.
- If you have to choose, choose disappointing others over disappointing yourself.
- The grass might seem greener on the other side, but the truth is, the grass is greener where you water it. Stop waiting for better circumstances—invest time and energy into what matters now, and watch it grow.
- Making your self-worth dependent on results or other people’s approval is a lose-lose situation: Either you fail and question your worth, or you succeed and become addicted to external validation. Either way, you lose. So anchor your worth in something deeper.
- Fear will never fully go away. But fear isn’t the problem—avoiding fear is. The longer you run from what scares you, the more power it has over you. The only way out is THROUGH.
- Everyone’s just winging it. Seriously. Even the people who LOOK like they have their life together are making it up as they go. So stop worrying about feeling like an imposter—it’s just part of the human experience.
- You know what’s more important than visible abs or a thigh gap? Literally anything. So don’t let unrealistic body standards distract you from actually living and enjoying your life. Choose memories over mirrors.
- I know this upcoming life change feels terrifying, but isn’t it WAY scarier to imagine living like this for the next 10, 20, or even 50 years? So choose the short-term discomfort of change over the long-term regret of an unfulfilling life.
- The unconscious beliefs you carry about yourself will run your life—until you choose to confront and rewrite them. And believe me—there are A LOT that need some serious rewriting.
- Stop over-exercising and just sign up for dance classes again. You have no idea how much you’re missing it. Your inner child is screaming for you to move for joy, not punishment.
- You’re not weird for not having any “real” interests or passions yet. The key to discovering them isn’t overthinking—it’s trying new things, changing your environment, and conducting little experiments. Nothing is wrong with you. You’re exactly where you need to be right now, and your breakthrough is just around the corner.
- Do me a favor and stop plucking your eyebrows into non-existence and shaving your arm hair! Future you will try to grow them back and will DEEPLY regret your aesthetic choices.
- Stop holding onto relationships out of habit or guilt. It’s okay to outgrow people. Not all connections are meant to last forever, and as they say: some people come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. Learn to tell the difference.
- Stop counting calories and start counting your blessings instead. No really. Gratitude will do more for your wellbeing than obsessing over every bite ever will.
- Exhaustion is NOT a status symbol, and productivity, success, or likeability do not define your worth. You are enough and lovable, exactly as you are. And the more you TREAT yourself like that’s the case, the more you’ll start to BELIEVE it. (It’s called the self-love loop.)
